If you’ve found yourself falling in love with, or you’ve been in love with, a narcissist, or if you have a narcissistic friend, somebody with high narcissistic traits, somebody who really doesn’t like to be wrong, somebody who might be passive-aggressive, somebody who sees themselves as grandiose, needs special attention, and definitely requires the need to be adored by other people, a narcissist is somebody who is much more interested in being adored and feared than really liked or respected. It’s about domination, control, and subservience. It’s about you being subservient to them, their needs, what they think, and everything else. So if you find yourself in this type of relationship, and if you’re in this type of relationship, you will undoubtedly be pulled into a very abusive phase.
Now, one of the things that narcissists tend to be notorious for is ghosting you. They’ll use the silent treatment, and you won’t know why. While you’re trying to figure out why this person is not talking to you, you’re trying to come up with solutions as to how to say what you need to say in a way that they can hear it. Whether male or female, you might ask yourself, “What did I do wrong? Why is your abandonment trigger getting activated?” If you’re highly codependent, you’re worried about this person liking you. You’re worried about what you said to them, why they are so upset, and you are in a frenzy. You are no longer feeling stable, okay, or safe. You are in a zone that is making you feel like nothing is safe and nothing is secure. So you are in tremendous self-doubt, and a lot of times, anxiety. This is what they want. So when a narcissist ghosts you, what they’re essentially doing is putting you in a position where you end up worrying about what they think.
When somebody stops talking to you, it’s a form of dominance and a strong form of control. I’m not talking about when you finally realize you’re in an abusive relationship and you want to go no contact to save yourself, and you want the relationship to end for your own sanity. Going no contact and having minimal conversations is a different thing. I’m talking about when you’re in a relationship with someone, and you are operating under the guise that this is a real relationship, and you’re trying to build it. And someone consistently, over time, starts to change their behavior. It doesn’t happen right away when you manifest or attract someone with high narcissistic traits into your life. They idealize you from the get-go. They make you feel amazing, wonderful, and like the best person they’ve ever met. But over time, they don’t text you back, and you don’t hear from them. Maybe you didn’t say something the way they wanted you to say it, and they turn their head and suddenly ignore you. Then you’re left wondering, “What did I say? What did I do?” That’s how it starts, right? And then, over time, it’s just little things. What does a mean thing you say to a narcissist? “Oh, nothing. It means nothing. Why do you think my hump has to mean anything? You’re so paranoid, sensitive, negative. You always think the worst about people.” Here comes the gaslighting.
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