The Life of a Narcissist is sometimes envied by those who have bought the lie or the fake image that the Narcissist pushes. And it is true that some Narcissists do appear to lead a successful life. They may have the money, the house, the cars, a supportive partner, etc. But what I have learned living and growing up with Covert Narcissists, in particular, is that it is all for show. They accumulate stuff to complement or boost their image because it is all about looking good and appearing to be happy and successful. Narcissists want to be envied, which is why it is important for them to have the life or things that others would like to have. They are very materialistic, to say the least, and their self-worth is wrapped up in all this stuff. However, the stuff is not always tangible, as fame or popularity are also things that they aspire to have. But despite their accomplishments, fame, or success, despite their motivational talks and big smiles, when no one is watching or when they are in their safe zone, everything they hate about themselves resurfaces.
The first weakness of the Narcissist is that they need outside validation.
There is no self-love or self-worth when it comes to Narcissists. Therefore, they constantly need others to prop them up. They need compliments or flattery, words of affirmation, and attention to make them feel relevant. Some get it through having numerous sexual partners, so they will lie, cheat, and exaggerate to win the love and affection of those around them. They need to be plugged into numerous supply sources to feed their need to be validated constantly.
The second weakness of the Narcissist is fear.
Narcissists have many fears, but their fear of exposure, which will give rise to their shame, is something they work hard to avoid daily. Their mountain of lies can come crumbling down on them, and they don’t want that. They also fear being rejected, criticized, taken advantage of, abandoned, and so much more. The issue is that a lot of their fears have no basis in reality, but their paranoia convinces them that everyone is out to get them. And that takes us to their third weakness because, as a result of this fear and paranoia, they become very distrustful of others. They constantly view others with suspicion and are always on the defense for any word or expression that they think is not in their favor. Narcissists also think that others are like them, so they have to be vigilant to ensure that they are not being taken advantage of. And to remain a step ahead, they seek to hurt you first before you hurt them.
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