Difficult people have traits that make it difficult to live together. Therefore, it is so important to develop techniques for dealing with people like this.
You must have had to reason with an incredibly difficult person more than once. A difficult person has traits that make it quite difficult or nearly impossible to coexist or communicate effectively with them. They often say inappropriate and irrational things. They cannot use emotional intelligence to solve problems. They act in a very confrontational manner. They are always on the defensive.
Dealing with someone like that is frustrating and infuriating because it is difficult to reason with an irrational person. However, although the other person’s way of being cannot be controlled, it is possible to control our reactions. It changes everything. Plus, today there are already many proven techniques that help calm these types of people in times of stress, even when the other is extremely out of control. According to American psychologist Barbara Markay, when we have to deal with difficult people, our brains activate the fear response center.
This part of the brain cannot distinguish between a client’s yelling at you or a vicious dog about to attack you. It will be up to you to engage your conscious mind to calm the situation.
The 5 techniques below can be used with anyone, even a stranger. And the closer your relationship with the person, the more knowledge you will have for calming the storm.
- Keep calm
Don’t get carried away by the heat of the moment. In highly emotional situations, yelling, accusing and pointing fingers will only make matters worse. As difficult as it is, keep your voice low and calm. Control your breathing with deep, slow breaths. Listen, you can’t reassure the other person until they feel that you care about what they are saying. As you listen, really focus on the conversation.
- be respectful
Of course, there are limits, but no matter how the other person treats you, avoid showing contempt. This will only aggravate the conflict. Don’t judge because you don’t know what this person is going through and why they are behaving this way. You are afraid or that you are more vulnerable. Find the hidden motive for aggression. What is this person really trying to gain or hide? Also, don’t take it personally. Remember, that drama is your fault.
- Don’t change her attitude
Asking someone furiously to calm down or speak up will only make you more nervous. Instead, let them vent. Avoid saying “I understand”. The other person will know that this empathy is not true and will only make things worse. It would be better to say, “Tell me what’s going on so I can better understand and help you.
Humor helps to lighten the mood in many situations, but when dealing with difficult people, avoid smiling because it may seem like you are making fun of the person and it is counterproductive.
- Set limits
While it is important to listen and let the other person speak, you must set limits and not let anyone humiliate you or cross the line. If this happens, don’t be afraid to stand up and say, “Please don’t talk to me like that.” Also, don’t take the blame by saying “I’m sorry” or “I’m changing this right now.” Even if you are responsible for the reason for their anger, you are not responsible for their lack of emotional control.
- Discharge the voltage
During the conflict, you had to control your natural reactions. After the storm, don’t let the emotions remain stored in your body and release the accumulated adrenaline. You can go for a run, stay with friends, or even take a boxing class. The activity doesn’t matter. The important thing is to pamper you after so much stress.
Why are some people so difficult?
We all have complicated days that lead us to be less nice to the surrounding people. However, there are some people who are always difficult to deal with, no matter what the occasion.
According to psychologists, it is likely that during childhood, these people have had unpleasant or traumatic experiences and, in order to defend themselves, they have learned to act badly. They are usually people with low self-esteem, who need approval and attention because they have a huge emptiness inside. The vast majority are not aware of the negative impact on those around them.
Therefore, whenever you come across someone who is complicated, have a lot of patience, and remember that this person does not have the same emotional intelligence as you do to solve problems in a civilized manner.
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