So when a narcissist ghosts you, what they’re essentially trying to do is throw you off balance, put you in a position where you’re bending your neck, trying to figure out what they think. This is very triggering, especially if you are somebody who’s highly empathic and/or codependent because you struggle with boundaries. Out of the box, you struggle with being able to say, “Wait a minute, this is how I feel, and this behavior is inappropriate.” When you’re the adult child of an alcoholic, you guess at what normal is. If your parents treated each other this way, you think this stonewalling, ignoring, and silent treatment is normal. Parents who walk around ignoring each other for weeks at a time, what is this? It is so unhealthy. But it’s really a struggle for who’s going to win, who’s going to come out on top, who’s going to break the silence first.
When you’re being ghosted by someone with high narcissistic traits, in my humble opinion, because I’ve been through this myself and I’ve coached so many people through this dynamic, what ends up happening is if you zoom out and peel yourself back, you start to see a pattern begin to evolve. The pattern is: “I got you, I pulled you up, then I pushed you off the pedestal.” Think about Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty started on a wall, and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Well, the narcissist is somebody who shines your shoes, makes you look good, makes you feel good, puts you on the wall. And very often, when they’re already looking for another source of narcissistic supply, they ghost you. And by ghosting you, they’re pushing you off the wall. Now you’re cracked up, you feel unstable, off balance, and you don’t know what’s going on. You’re struggling to make sense out of what’s happening.
So now you finally have a conversation with this person, and here it comes, you get attacked, assaulted. Here comes the gaslighting, the devaluing, the phrases that make you think, “What the heck is going on here?” So when someone ghosts you and you’re dealing with someone with high narcissistic traits, what you might end up seeing, if you peel back and zoom out, is a pattern of them using this opportunity to throw you off balance so that you come back to them and try to have a conversation eventually. And in the conversation, what ends up happening is you start to become persecuted. This is their up. They know that you’re weak, wondering what’s going on, and they’ve got you. You’re vulnerable, and you are at this point a very soft target. So now, here they can unleash their wrath onto you. They can say whatever they want to say to you. They can hurt you and make you feel punished and persecuted. And in this exchange, they’re gaining their source of narcissistic supply. They are back on top.
This Is The Great Sin Of A Narcissist That Can Never Be Forgiven By God Until They Die
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment