When a narcissist goes quiet or decides to leave you alone, it is usually a temporary situation. This occurs because when a narcissist decides to give you some space, it is usually after a particular sequence of events. First, there would have needed to be some sort of confrontation, or you discarded them, or they discarded you. Then the narcissist carries out a full-blown smear campaign, and when the dust has settled, they tend to go quiet or leave you alone for a bit. It can make you wonder, ‘What are they up to now?’ because while you are left to pick up the pieces of a shattered reputation, they seem to have decided to give you some space. But why? Well, the narcissist may now have other plans, or they may be distracted with other sources of supply or personal life matters. But this time-out is something the narcissist does not mind because they believe that in time, you will get over whatever they did or even forget. So, the narcissist carries on the best they can without you, hoping that eventually, they are able to return or, even better, that you reach out to them. They would love for you to miss them and for their absence to make your heart grow fonder. They are also hoping that with a good amount of time, you may not even remember the details of what they did.
So, when the narcissist does come back around weeks, months, or years later, acting like they never did anything wrong, it is with the expectation that you have had enough time to get over what they did. And even if you do not, they think they should be able to gaslight you, shift blame, or confuse details. But in the mind of the narcissist, you bringing up the past will be unreasonable. Although matters were never resolved, and the narcissist never apologized, they just want to pick up and carry on without taking accountability for anything. So, you, still wanting to address the narcissist’s past actions, will infuriate them. They will gaslight you and make you out to be the negative one. They will try to make you feel guilty and look like the bad guy for not wanting to move on. But if you hold your ground and refuse to let the narcissist just waltz back into your life without consequence, this will cause them to want to distance themselves from you again, as you are not prepared to play along and carry on as if there are no issues between the both of you.
5 Psychology Tricks to know You’re Dealing with a Narcissist
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