The third piece of advice: once you discover that your loved one or someone with whom you are in a relationship is a covert narcissist, you’re not going to call them out, you are going to decide on a way to exit the relationship, a way to terminate the relationship without an obvious confrontation. Come up with an exit plan. Make this exit plan carefully, carefully thought through and carefully executed. If the covert narcissist discovers your exit plan, say it is to terminate the relationship, say it is to break up the relationship, to seek your divorce, and you decide to call them out, to pull the mask off, they are smart enough, manipulated enough, and they have too much to lose not to discredit you and turn it around back to you. Remember, it’s just not what we do well. We are not good at holding our ground and setting boundaries with manipulative narcissists. So, the next step is to create boundaries, create a boundary of protection around you because just by the mere fact that you have created an exit plan and you have executed the exit plan, that in itself will get the covert narcissist nervous. They’re smart enough to know that if you are not part of their followers, if you are not part of the audience that loves them, that craves what they have to give, and you back off, get cold even in the most minor boundaries, they’re going to know something is wrong and, again, have a lot of reasons, have a lot at stake to turn the situation around on you, to make you look bad, to restore them to their covert narcissist facade.
The next step is to understand how passive-aggressive covert narcissists are. And I cannot emphasize this enough. When you find out that someone is a covert narcissist, you uncover them, they’re probably going to find out because, you know, we’re human, as I say, you’re probably not going to win if you take them on directly because they’re smart enough, manipulation, and they have legions of followers who believe in this image of perfection and kindness and love it and love their passive-aggressive ways. You’ll be able to take all of their followers and all the people that drink their covert narcissist kool-aid, and they will be able to get them to understand what is wrong with you. In a way, we call this projection, projection, you, the threat, who knows exactly who they really are, who can expose them, who calls them out, they have everything to gain by making you look bad. And because they’re covert narcissists, they don’t do anything direct, there’s no direct aggression, there’s no direct confrontation, it’s passive-aggressive reactions, the retaliation is manipulative, sometimes hidden in what seems obviously kind, benevolent, and even appreciative actions. And then, but when the passive-aggressive covert narcissist is going to fight you back, and they’re doing it, as I said, behind the scenes, they have to do it in a way that protects their image and their facade. So they don’t, the way that they do that is they set you up to look bad, they antagonize you in a way that gets you to defend yourself, to attack them. This is the technique that you hear not-so-healthy psychotherapists use, where they use their psychotherapy superiority to defend themselves and to turn you against yourself and to through, through a fancy use of words and dysfunctional analysis is to protect themselves by being the person that suggests you really are the problem and not them. There’s many even words for this, but it’s certain system, mind manipulation.
Scary End of a Narcissist’s Life | 5 Disturbing Truths
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment