When we are no longer readable or react to the Narcissist, they simply do not know what to do. It frustrates them, it drives them crazy when we are but a blank canvas in their presence. Because Narcissists cannot operate around people they cannot deceive or control as it makes them very uncomfortable. And anyone who makes a Narcissist uncomfortable becomes an instant offence that needs to be eradicated. In some cases, the Narcissist is the one that moves on meaning they remove themself. But even though the Narcissist may not take revenge straight away, they never forget you or forgive you. So, if an opportunity presents itself in the future to screw you over, they will. But in other cases, the narcissist just wants you gone now and will invest their time, energy and resources into eliminating you. It all depends on the Narcissist, who you are to them and how much of a Narcissistic injury you may have caused. Narcissists choose which battles they want to fight straight away, and the ones that can wait another day. All I can say is that Narcissists are usually more offended by people who they once controlled but now cannot than those who they never really had a chance to control. What would be great for all of us is having the ability to spot Narcissists a mile away and implement the grey rocking method from the beginning, as being emotionally open and vulnerable around Narcissists is one of the worst mistakes any one can make. I know of people who have faked certain emotions to trick a Narcissist into thinking that they, the Narcissist was the one in control in order to gain an advantage and it worked, because Narcissists rely heavily on our emotional responses to figure out if they are winning, but it can backfire. So, just like how they use our emotions against us, we can take control and use it against them. But that is a different story. The most important thing is that you are the boss of your emotions and you let the Narcissist only see what you want them to see.
But in most cases, grey rocking a Narcissist is best, as they cannot handle being around someone who doesn’t think they are relevant or worth engaging with. And this applies to everyone. Even if you have been in a relationship with a Narcissist and they think they know you and own you and can twist you as they like. As soon as you turn off that emotional tap and better yet keep it off. The Narcissist knows they’ve lost you. They will try to provoke you to make you break, especially if they had you before, it takes a while before they accept that you are done. But once they realise their game is up with you, they will move on. They consider it a lost because they can no longer manipulate you. They cannot emotionally destabilize you any longer. They can no longer control you and if a Narcissist cannot control you or influence you, they will try to eliminate you or avoid you. Some of you were probably thinking that No contact is like the number 1 way a Narcissist can lose out on someone and it is true for the person who has gone no contact but in the Narcissist’s mind…you are still theirs, as they think they will still be able to control you, they just need to find you. Narcissists are delusional. But they can think what they like, the most important thing is that we are healing and happy without them. So, if you are doing no contact keep doing that and tread carefully with any new relationships. No contact does free us from a few narcissists but not all Narcissists, as they are everywhere and that is why it is important to not just be able to spot Narcissists but also know how to act around them which means primarily keeping our emotions in check. Do not be quick to credit them, do not be overly impressed with them but it can also involve being distant, even abrupt sometimes, boring, and just overall disinterested. That is why it is called grey rocking because you are being like a grey rock where there is not much excitement going on.
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