They can also be direct in their messages if they have something important to tell you that they think will cause you to want to break your silence. It can be to give condolences if you have had a death in the family or to let you know that someone in their life has died. They may act vulnerable and in need of your help or concoct lies surrounding their health to gain your sympathy. There are different approaches that the narcissist can take, but they are hoping that you take the bait and willingly open up the lines of communication again. Because that is the first step to the narcissist regaining control and being able to manipulate you again. Once you start conversing with a narcissist, everything they do and say will be an attempt to manipulate you and trap you. Long-winded
Another warning sign is when they contact you by letter or email with long-winded explanations or excuses as to why the relationship did not work in a pretense to offer closure. Narcissists are not interested in giving true closure. Their letters or emails might have the intention of making you feel as if they have moved on and are only wanting the best for you, but it is just a trap to get you to reach out to them. They are trying to provoke any kind of reaction from you. Whether anger, delight, or surprise, the narcissist just needs something to work with. And any emotional response will let the narcissist know that you are not over them and that there is something there that they can manipulate.
Another warning sign is that if the narcissist knows where you are, you may start seeing them more often in places that you frequent. If you choose to ignore them, they may eventually approach you to break the ice by asking how you are doing and giving you compliments on your appearance, all in a bid to make you lower your defenses and not view them as a threat. But again, remember that any emotional response, good or bad, will feed the narcissist’s ego. So, whether you are surprised to see them, happy to see them, or even angry, the narcissist will be happy with any response. It is best to put an end to their small talk and walk away. Make it clear to the narcissist that you have no interest in seeing them or talking to them and that their presence means nothing to you.
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