Narcissists are all about painting others as the bad guys and themselves as the good guys who should be trusted and loved by all. The covert narcissist thrives in a group where everyone complains about everyone else.
group where they are seen as a leader or an example without anyone realising that they are the ones causing the division or inciting drama. Basically, the narcissist’s aim is that their reputation remains intact while everyone else’s is in tatters. Because the narcissist has to bring others down in order to feel better about them.
So, whether the narcissist is your parent, child, partner, co-worker, boss, etc., they will look to poke holes in your image. They will make shady comments behind your back. They will tell lies about you. They will spread rumours about you. They will want to control how others view you. This happens throughout any narcissistic relationship, but it becomes more apparent during the discard phase, whether it is you discarding them or they discard you.
The Covert Narcissist just takes it into overdrive to the point where it is no longer a pass-time hobby but a full-time campaign. But all their previous investments or those seeds of doubt that they have been sowing over the past months or years will now be able to take full bloom. And that is why their smear campaigns seem so successful and why the flying monkeys seem to have just been waiting for the word to go, and why they don’t even come to you to find out if anything is true. Because for a long time, in their minds, they already knew, based on what the narcissist has been saying about you, that you are not who you pretend to be.
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