Do anything you can, but do not tell a narcissist how happy you are. Do not share it with them. Do not express your joy, for they will destroy every good thing out of their jealousy. They are really envious. They do not want you to grow. They do not want you to blossom. They want you to wither away, fade away, because that makes them feel powerful. So anytime you come across as cheerful, it burns them. They feel equally sad. That’s why they create chaos.
Narcissists are known for destroying your big days. They are notoriously known for destroying all the big days in your life. It’s Christmas Eve, and all of a sudden, they start fighting with you over a petty thing, something that you didn’t do properly while cooking dinner. It’s your birthday; they pretend to be sick, and everybody has to cater to their needs. It becomes their special day when it was supposed to be about you. It’s your graduation ceremony; they do not show up, or they show up late intentionally. And if they show up, they sulk. You do not see any happiness on their face. Then it’s your marriage ceremony or marriage anniversary; they intentionally drop something on your dress, or they take a lot of time to get ready, and then it turns into a very bitter experience.
Why do they do it? You know what they do. The biggest question is why do they do it? Experts on narcissism will tell you, “Oh, they are extremely insecure. They have to have everybody’s eyes on them. If it is not about them, they are going to destroy it.” That is true. But the simplest explanation that I personally have for you is: They are jealous. They are sadistic in that they can’t see you happy. That’s it. And there is no explanation beyond that. They want you to cry. They want you to be sad. And then you might ask, “Why is that? I can’t understand it.” You’re not able to understand it because you’re not like them. You can never ever do that to anybody on their special day, will you? And that’s why you are shocked. But that’s what a narcissist is all about. They are fun-suckers, joy-killers, and merchants of chaos. In fact, they embody a lot of chaos inside. They’re undergoing a lot of turbulence but suppress it when their environment does not sync in with what their internal experiences. It makes them aware of their own rottenness. When they see you happy, they feel their own unhappiness. When they see you accomplishing a lot in life, they personalize it and make it about their failures. And they do not just become sad about it; they do not even acknowledge that it’s going on. They interpret those sensations they feel driven by shame as attacks by you when you did nothing. They become really angry at making them feel a certain way, which is why they launch attacks at you, which truly proves that everything positive or negative is all about a narcissist. It has to be about them. If it is not, then it’s not important. And if they can’t make it unimportant, they will destroy it. To stabilize their internal environment, what do they do? They fill their external environment with a lot of negativity. At what expense, though? Your stability, peace, calmness, happiness, joy, and success. They belittle your achievements on purpose so that you do not feel happy about them. They are jealous; they can’t have it, so they will destroy it. This is how a narcissist’s brain works. If they can, they will. That’s the great “if I should” missing. They don’t ask that question. “If I should, is missing.” They don’t ask that question. “If I can, I will.” If they can belittle you and face no consequences, they will belittle you. If they can humiliate you, if they can control you, they will. So, that area where our conscience acts, where we access our moral compass and then analyze the situation if it is appropriate or not, if our actions are appropriate or not, it’s totally missing in them. That’s why they’re so reckless. It is their jealousy for you that drives them to run massive smear campaigns and fabricate narratives. It is their envy that burns them day in and day out, keeps them thinking about you and your success 24/7, plotting and planning, trying to strategically destroy it. They can’t stand you expanding. They can’t stand you flying high. They have to chain you. And again, you may wonder why. Why? Why? Well, just you can’t understand it beyond the fact that it makes them feel powerful. That’s it. How it is internalized, we can’t say because you are not a narcissist. I am not a narcissist. We can only say that it’s just pathetic. It’s evil. That is the definition of evil.
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