He’s looking for someone reliable and powerful to look after him.
He’s looking for a sympathetic woman to look after his childish desires.
He loves smart women because it helps him to show that he is much smarter.
He wants you to be self-sufficient so he won’t have to look after you.
And here’s some of the narcissist’s best tricks: any insecurities you have (and we all do), he’ll use them to his advantage.
In exchange, what do you get? The archetypal alpha male who is enthralling, entertaining, friendly, and funny. He’s funny, serious, and there’s never a boring moment when you’re around him. You get the feeling that he “gets” you. You have chemistry with him and are elated by his focus. At least for a bit.
When I was single, I was certainly drawn in by these charming, deceptive creeps. I got pulled in, much like the countless women who have shared their experiences with me, delighted that I had finally met the guy who absolutely enthralled me. Of course, this has left me shattered, exhausted, and more insecure than ever before.
I still feel foolish. Why does a sensible woman like me fall for this dishonest nonsense once again?
And don’t feel guilty or stupid for choosing these guys. They are experts in their field.
In a PsychCentral post, Samuel López De Victoria, Ph.D. writes:
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