The narcissist’s birthday obsession

So, I could start with this video with “Happy Birthday to You.” It came out of a conversation with somebody about narcissistic folks and their birthdays, which begged the question: Why the hell do narcissistic people care so much about their birthdays? So, why do you think? Drop it in the comments—why do you think narcissistic people care so much about their birthdays or how the narcissist in your life dealt with their birthday?

This question about birthdays came up several times in a few recent conversations, and I really do think it bears exploring. Narcissists and their blessed birthdays, right? Birthdays are already such a funny thing, especially for adults. Anyone who has a social media account gets blanketed with birthday wishes on their birthday. I guess it feels nice; they get a lot of wishes. Most healthy adults generally have a “take it or leave it” attitude about their birthdays. Good people appreciate kind gestures made to them, but I don’t know that all of them are waiting for a big cake and streamers or will throw a tantrum if they don’t get those things. I think some folks have nice traditions on their birthdays, but most people will go to work if they have to, and it’s just a day where maybe they’ll get some cupcakes at work or get to choose what they want for dinner. Some folks hate birthdays because it’s a reminder of the inevitability of aging. Other folks view birthdays and the associated bells and whistles as a sort of relic of childhood and feel that birthdays and balloons are for kids and nobody else. Birthdays are personal; some folks make a really, really big deal out of their momentous birthdays (50, 60, that kind of thing). Birthdays are personal; I really do think that people should do what they want. So, if you want to tend to your cake or forget any of it’s happening, it’s your birthday, your rules. You do you.

Where it gets really interesting with birthdays is when we’re dealing with narcissistic folks in our lives. Their birthdays, their own birthdays, are a big deal. So, why do you think narcissistic people are so birthday-ish? And as a result of birthdays being a big deal, they can get really angry if you don’t wish them a happy birthday. But you know how they like to be really cool and not think it’s a big deal? But it is a big deal, and that conflict is often where the problem arises.

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