Walking away from a narcissist is like knocking the throne out from under an entitled queen. You see, the narcissist has built up an entire false persona around the narrative that they are some kind of royalty. Like an entitled ruler, they believe that they should always get more than they give. So, if they were getting a lot from you – affection, validation, or even emotional reactions – your absence is going to deliver a crushing blow.
These things supply ammunition for the narcissist’s royal identity. By walking away, you don’t just remove their supply; you rip away the superiority illusion that they cling to. The fragile ego behind the curtain gets exposed. So, what now? Well, hopefully, you’ve ridden off into the sunset and gone full no contact. But where does that leave the narcissist? Let’s explore seven things that happen when the narcissist knows they’ve lost you.
First, let’s talk about the initial shock and denial. When you walk away from the narcissist, it pulls the rug out from under their overinflated ego. They didn’t even think it was possible for you to survive alone outside of their kingdom. In their mind, you really were lucky to have them, even though they were abusive and took more than they ever gave. That’s just not the story they see, because accepting the fact that they aren’t as special as they thought they were would send them spiraling even further.
So, denial kicks in as a defense. At first, they’ll convince themselves you’ve temporarily lost it or you’re walking away to send a message, kind of like they’ve done a thousand times before. In this phase, you may hear radio silence from the narcissist as they wait for you to come crawling back. Or they may bait you into contact by liking your social statuses or asking a friend about you – things that just serve as a reminder that they’re out there.