Another hallmark of covert narcissism is a victim mentality. Covert narcissists are experts at twisting situations to appear as if they are the wronged party, regardless of the reality. This tactic is particularly manipulative because it exploits others’ empathy, securing sympathy and support under false pretenses. For example, they might overemphasize or fabricate hardships they’ve faced to gain attention and validation, deflecting criticism and avoiding responsibility for their actions.
This perpetual victim stance can be incredibly frustrating for those close to the covert narcissist, as it makes genuine accountability nearly impossible. It also places an undue emotional burden on loved ones, who are constantly maneuvered into the role of supporter or savior, often at the expense of their own needs and well-being.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
Covert narcissists often resort to passive-aggressive communication as a means to express dissatisfaction or exert control without directly confronting issues. This can include sarcastic remarks, silent treatment, or subtly undermining others’ efforts. By maintaining a facade of innocence or misunderstanding, covert narcissists can deny any malicious intent, leaving their targets confused and off-balance.
This form of communication is particularly damaging because it obscures the narcissist’s true feelings and intentions, making it difficult for others to address issues head-on. Relationships become minefields of unspoken grievances and hidden agendas, stifling honest dialogue and mutual understanding.
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