Let’s talk about the six things that narcissists do when you try to go, which I highly recommend that you do. And I’ve had to do it myself with a couple of narcissists. It’s never fun, and it’s never great. They try to make it almost impossible. They try to make it so that you don’t want to do that. But you do have to do that because they will eventually take over your soul.
Literally, I describe it as like pods. I know there was some movie—I don’t know if it was in the ’60s or something like a long time ago—where these pods came and sat down next to people and took all of their information and took over their bodies. And that’s how I feel about narcissists like they’re these pods that just come into your life and steal you, and you end up feeling like you’re being choked to death, or, I don’t know, my situation, where I talked a lot about this. By the way, in a couple of recent videos, one was about my toxic relationships, and the other was, I don’t normally share this, my own story of bullying. In my situation, I felt like one of the narcissists was trying to become me, stand in my shoes, and be me. And he was also devaluing me and doing things to me at the same time.
It was extremely strange and incredibly unpleasant. As a result, you begin to experience those emotions, right? Therefore, to minimize the intensity, it becomes necessary to establish no contact. I don’t believe it’s an exaggeration to say that’s how I felt. However, it’s natural to wonder about the potential outcomes when taking such a step. Let’s now delve into that discussion.
The initial response they may have is to attempt to revert to what had previously worked for them. It’s important to remember that there are three distinct ways in which they engage in relationships, and each phase has its characteristics. By the way, I have videos dedicated to explaining each of these phases if you’re interested in exploring them further.
They typically begin with love bombing, or the idealization phase
Where they present themselves as perfect, not limited to just romantic scenarios but also applicable to business situations, as was the case for me. They enter your space and appear flawless. However, they then proceed to devalue you, and this cycle continues with back-and-forth transitions between phases, including the discard phase.
In their attempt to regain your attention, they will resort to what had previously worked, saying things like, “We’ve always been able to work things out,” or “We’ve always been a great team.” They may question why you’re being rigid or difficult, hoping to charm you once again. They’ll try to recreate the charm they had used before. Sometimes, this behavior is referred to as hovering, where they suddenly reappear after a period of no contact, saying something like, “I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”
Ultimately, they aim to charm you once again, using whatever tactics have been effective in the past. That’s the first point to consider.
The next thing is that they might intensify their efforts even further.
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