Let’s talk about how to outsmart a narcissist in conversation.
- You must know your audience.
First and foremost, you must know your audience. Know who it is that you are dealing with. What I mean by that is: if you’re looking to outsmart someone who lands on the spectrum of destructive narcissism in conversation, it’s vital that you recognize that you’re fully dealing with someone who is empathy deficient, right? like they’re lacking in empathy. They’re lacking in conscience. This means that your high-empathy nature, kind heart, all of your compassion and love, and all of your decency and integrity will not give you an advantage in this conversation.
People who are lacking in empathy and lacking in conscience are capable of going to lengths that you and I cannot even fathom in order to be right, to win the right fight, to have the last word, to get their own way, to be seen in a certain light, to move their own agenda forward… They are willing to go to lengths that you and I could never even conceive of. So know upfront that this is never going to be a level playing field because you’re not dealing with someone who’s going to play by the rules of life.
Play the game of life with the same level of kindness, compassion, decency, integrity, boundary-out attitudes and behaviors, etc. So know your audience, know who and what it is that you’re dealing with, and adjust your expectations, your own behavior, and your own attitudes accordingly. Don’t go in there projecting all the good stuff that you carry onto an individual who doesn’t carry it.
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