Crazy-Making Communication:
As the target, you have to be in the sense that your dyad is the structure of two people in the folly and dirt that you are in, and you have to be leaning into it; otherwise, it doesn’t work. You will perceive them as fragile, and you’ll think, “Well, they can’t be one of those nasty classic narcissists because last week they said sorry, and the week before that, they started crying and opening up to me, and they made themselves vulnerable to me.” Therefore, it can’t be a narcissist; it must be something else. That’s actually part of the weapon. The first part of the weapon has a one-two punch effect, and the first part is to confuse you.
Confusion:
You will be confused because you’ll be thinking, ‘Well, who am I dealing with today? Which version of them?’ If they’re related, they’ll show up as grandiose. So, if they’ve got their narcissistic supply, they’ll be grandiose and act like the classic bully narcissist. You’ve seen them do that. But if they’re depleted, then they’ll be vulnerable narcissists. They’ll be much sadder and show you that they’re weak and that they need you. You will feel confusion. So, the first part of their strategy is to make the target feel confused: Who am I dealing with, the grandiose one or the vulnerable one?’ Which one of these two personas am I going to be dealing with today, over and over again? So, you never know where you are, and you feel confused. This is where the crazy-making comes from. Then, beyond the confusion, which is where the crazy-making comes from, the next thing they’ll do is leverage your pity for them.
Pity:
They will leverage your pity for them by evoking massive feelings of guilt. These are the ones who give you the sob story. So, their weapon comes in a package, but it’s only the missile delivery system. It’s not the actual weapon itself. It’s not the actual payload of the sob story. You will have a story about them being orphaned, abandoned, or having some terrible, tragic background. Some operatic-level dreadfulness occurred to them. They’re the biggest victim in the room. ‘Don’t you feel sorry for them?’ Well, if you love a person and they’ve been through pain, you’ll feel pity for them. You’ll feel sorry for them. That’s natural. There’s no shame in that. But what they’ve done is they’ve turned that good emotion, that standard emotion, and used it against the human host. They’ve gone. Ah, there’s a weakness here.
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