5 Ways A Narcissist Will Abandon You Without A Second Thought

This next way a narcissist can abandon you is devastating.

Life has its ups and downs, and absolutely real care and love are for better or for worse. Narcissists are the ultimate “fair weather” people. They are only nice when they are getting what they want (and even then, it doesn’t last long because the false self is never durably appeased).

One of the most triggering and angering things for a narcissist is you needing attention from them or their energy.

So many of us have experienced the absolute horror of a narcissist “kicking you when you are down”. I remember some of the most abusive times in my narcissistic relationship were when I suffered something painful in my life, such as when a beloved cat got run over, and other times when I went to him for understanding and support.

In this wonderful Thriver Community, I have heard, over the last ten plus years, the horrifying stories of narcissists abandoning people in their lives who suffered the deaths of friends or family, or who had serious illness diagnoses or complications, and absolutely when people experienced breakdowns (usually as per the narcissist’s abuse).

Heartbreaking stories where we, the people, can’t even begin to understand how you could abandon a “so-called loved one” in such a dire time of need Yet narcissists do it over and over again.

There are a variety of reasons for this. Firstly, the narcissist “does” relationships to take narcissistic supply, the emotional energy that feeds the false self (which can’t generate its own energy), to validate that the narcissist is significant and actually exists.

If a narcissist has to give out the precious energy and resources that always need topping up, he or she starts to slide into serious depression, where the inner wounds that are being self-medicated away by a continuously fed ego start to engulf the narcissist.

The false self is furious about anyone taking away their precious energy. If your situation means that family and friends have been showing you attention, empathy, and care rather than the narcissist being able to make life with these people all about themselves, this makes the narcissist even more furious and deranged.

The narcissist will either need to punish you, which is emotional abandonment, by being nasty, or will actually leave, possibly for good. Especially if your situation would require their long-term care and support.

Please note that there is a specific narcissist for whom this can differ. The altruistic narcissist may actually care for you in spades when you are down and out, but there is a very sinister agenda attached: “After what I did for you, now you owe me.”