At 27 years old, I’ve spent 26 years being abused by narcissists. My healing journey started nine months ago when my therapist helped me identify two narcissists in my close family (one overt, one covert).
Having been primed for toxic relationships, I connected with many narcissists in my adult life, including an incredibly traumatizing ex-boyfriend. My coping mechanisms included overachieving, people-pleasing, and codependent behaviors.
Most days, I feel proud of my progress; I’m beginning to be authentic and love myself deeply. But attracting more narcissists frequently happens for abuse survivors; I’m not immune.
Despite pouring into topic research, seeing a narcissist survivor life coach, participating in multiple support groups, and documenting my healing journey, I met another covert narcissist. After carefully interviewing Luther (fake name), I invited him to join my living environment.
While I felt overwhelmed and angry at my discovery, my coach remarked, “Look how much faster you identified the traits this time around. That’s a huge win!” I agree. Plus, I get to use this low-pressure situation to develop my narcissist-resistant skills.
Pathology experts estimate somewhere between 60 and 150 million people experience narcissist abuse in the U.S. alone. Whether you’re healing from narcissistic abuse or curious about the topic, becoming the narcissist’s nightmare empowers you to increase personal power, cultivate mindfulness, and build healthier relationships.
Although recovering our intuition and rebuilding self-worth takes time, I synthesized some approaches I’ve been using so you can take informed action now. Here are ten things you can do right now to become the narcissist’s nightmare:
Shahida Arabi, the author of “Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare,” along with abuse experts such as Debbie Mirza, Eleanor Payson, Melody Beattie, and John Goulet, helped to inform this article.
Devalue the narcissist in your mind.
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