If you’re like me, you fell for their false selves completely. Narcissists excel at charming and manipulating others into seeing them in the most flattering light. They may feel like your soulmate, the person who understands and values you the most.
That’s what happened with my narcissist ex-boyfriend. I considered him a hyper-successful, uber-charming, brilliant sex god. But he’s not.
“This is a type of love story where the happy ending lies in not finding Prince Charming. Rather, it lies in the realization that he never existed at all,” says Arabi.
Narcissists are mean, abusive people who do not experience empathy or remorse. They do not deserve our praise and adoration; that only enables the abuse.
When we’re around narcissists, we have to remind ourselves of who they truly are. With Luther, I use this tactic constantly. He’ll put on a charming, charismatic, and humble persona, and despite all the work I’ve done, I feel myself falling for it sometimes. Then I remembered.
When we stop falling for narcissists’ false selves, we increase our immunity.
Starve them of your attention.
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