Have you ever seen that movie in which they adopt a girl and think she is a child, but she turns out to be 18 or 19 years old or something like that and ends up living with her parents again and again? That is what a narcissist’s inner child looks like; it looks like their behaviors are childish. They’re driven by their need for instant gratification and impulsivity, but in reality, it is nothing but a male adaptation. Now it has turned quite malicious and has become evil.
What does that have to do with them not being able to be at home? Well, it explains why they get bored easily. They can’t be at home because if they’re left at home, they will have to be with themselves, and that is the last thing the narcissist wants to do. They don’t want to face their reality; they want to go out there, look for potential supply or a group of supply, collect supply, or do something fancy—a party, anything. Especially if it is a covert narcissist that will get them tons of attention, admiration, adulation, anything that takes away the focus from themselves and distracts them and gives them all those sensations, feel-good sensations, that excitement of cheating on you, that high of lying to you, the sadistic satisfaction they get from thinking others are weaker than them, and it’s easy to exploit these people because they let it happen to themselves. This is what we call psychopathic thinking. They may fool you in the beginning by claiming to be homebodies, which they are not, especially if you like to be at home. It’s only a trick; a good old term for this is mirroring. They copy your behaviors only to fool you into creating an aura with them, into thinking, “Oh wow, they’re a reflection of me,” which is why I say it quite often. They make you fall in love by behaving as your reflection. You fall in love with a reflection when you meet a narcissist because they pretend to want the same things that you want; they pretend to make you comfortable, only to trap you and make you think you have found the person of your dreams.
They like to be out because there is novelty, newness, new ways of acquiring supply, new ways of targeting people, new ways of fooling groups, new ways of taking advantage of other people’s innocence, new ways of making it seem like they’re the biggest victim of other people’s doing, new ways of telling lies, learning new scripts, and so on. They can’t be still, and that makes many survivors think, “Does this person have ADHD?” Of course not. ADHD is a completely different thing. How do you know they don’t have it? Well, you have to think of things in this context; you have to understand that someone with ADHD does not lack empathy. They are quite reflective; in fact, they’re overly reflective. If you have ADHD, maybe you can help us understand how you are different from a narcissist. They overthink, they self-analyze, they self-criticize; they are all scattered; they are in a hundred different places at a given time. A narcissist is not like that; their need for stimulation comes from a need to stay distracted, while someone with ADHD cannot help but feel distracted. They go out there in search of something new; they don’t want to be that way. A narcissist can literally have everything a person needs to feel satisfied, yet they’ll still go out there in search of something new. Why? Because, as I always say, they have a hole in the bottom of their vessel; everything keeps draining out. So that need to be around more people, to do new things, and to indulge in high-risk behaviors comes from that newness, to purge what they don’t want to feel but they can’t help it; it’s in there. They keep running away from it until a day comes; it engulfs them, and that is when they hit collapse.
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