Why does a Narcissist Avoids Eye Contact with You?

The most lethal and painful weapon a narcissist uses against you is abandonment. Abandoning you gives them a high they cannot get from anywhere else because they see you squirm, beg, and suffer while trying to get their attention, acknowledgment, or validation. Yet, they do not give it to you. One way they do this is by avoiding eye contact.

Eye contact is extremely important when trying to have any form of communication or conversation with a person. Why? Because when you look someone in the eyes, they feel connected with you, vulnerable, listened to, and most importantly, attuned with you, which induces co-regulation. Co-regulation makes you feel safe with the other person, understood, and ultimately, you feel warmth and acceptance.

However, when a narcissist withholds eye contact—when they don’t look at you or into your eyes while you are being the most vulnerable, pouring your heart out—you feel frustrated, stabbed, attacked, devalued, abandoned, and left alone. Let’s talk more about this in today’s episode.

To lay a strong foundation for this article, we have to understand two things: