Now, if waiting it out doesn’t seem like a viable option for the narcissist, and this may happen if they’re having trouble replacing you with another source of narcissistic supply, you might start to see a more intense pursuit. Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is about you. Narcissists are allergic to losing, and when you walk away, it’s the loss of control that’s most painful for them.
So, here you might see them pulling out all the stops to get you to come back around. You might be tempted to think that it’s because they miss you or have intense feelings for you, and they’ll even tell you this. Unfortunately, with a narcissist, it’s never true. It’s really the narcissistic supply that they miss and nothing more.
In this phase, they will promise the world – more flexibility, more listening, no more angry outbursts. But it’s all talk and no action, at least nothing sustainable. Grand gestures and expensive gifts may emerge, but this is only to confuse you and restart the manipulation cycle. If you’re not familiar with the cycles of narcissistic abuse, these relationships do follow very distinct patterns. I have a free download for you that you’ll find in the description to see how your relationship might stack up to the phases of narcissistic abuse.
Because they’re desperate to get you back, it’s not uncommon for narcissists to propose during this phase or use a manipulation tactic called future faking, where they promise in detail all the things you’ve ever wanted. But this is nothing more than an empty transaction. Real change would require confronting their fragmented ego behind the curtain, and that’s absolutely terrifying for a narcissist.
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