The third benefit is that now they have more people in their corner; they can now attack their victims with full force from every angle. So, to recap, the three benefits are narcissistic supply, flying monkeys, and an isolated victim. These are the three main benefits, but more often than not, the first one, narcissistic supply, is usually what they are aiming for. But there are times when all three are desirable.
So now I’m going to go through the instances when the covert narcissist uses the victim card, and you should be able to work out whether it’s just narcissistic supply they’re after or all three. The first instance is when the covert narcissist messes up or fails. They pull out the victim card in order to shift blame and not be held accountable. After all, they can’t be the ones responsible for a failed relationship or business venture. This is why covert narcissists, in particular, do not start businesses on their own. They love partnerships so much that if the business fails, their partner becomes the fall guy. Or they stick to being managers or directors of other people’s businesses so that they can blame their staff for their bad performance or leadership. When it comes to a failed friendship or romantic relationship, it is always the other person’s fault. The other person did this and that to ruin the relationship. The narcissist is always a victim of circumstances or bad relationships. It’s never their fault. They would prefer to blame it on anyone or anything else.
The second instance when they play the victim is to avoid having to apologize. I went through this in my article on the analysis of apology, where you would bring an issue to the narcissist where they are at fault. But by the end of the conversation, the narcissist is now the victim. They’ve just slighted you into thinking that you are the one who has wronged them, so you need to apologize, not them.
Holding on to Grudges Forever: What Narcissists Won’t Forgive
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment