I’m going to give you several things that happen when a narcissist realizes that you refuse to be controlled. First, narcissists need control because it protects their identities and their fragile egos. They are underneath very actually afraid of you. They’re more afraid of you than you are of them. All that stuff that they layer on, is just a show.
It’s sort of like the Wizard of Oz, how the Wizard of Oz built that whole Emerald City. He did all of that because he was hiding that feeble, scared, little man that was behind the curtain. That’s what the narcissist is.
They have very low self-esteem, a very fragile self that they’re hiding and they’re manipulating others. They use tactics such as gaslighting, guilt, shame and all those things because they’re trying to control their outcome. They are desperately trying to control the circumstances around them because they’re very, very scared people.
People who are sure of themselves, people who are confident are not desperate to try to control things. It’s only very fearful people who are desperate to try to control. Knowing what narcissists are doing to try to control their victims, or their target, will help you feel more educated and help you understand what’s going on and it will help you to be more prepared and anticipate what’s going to happen.
That’s part of the S.L.A.Y methodology, which is strategy, leverage, anticipate what’s going to happen and then, you can focus on you, your position and be ready.
Anticipate is the A and once you understand what’s happening, you can anticipate what’s going to happen. Understanding what is happening will help you. Understand that they are very ashamed people that have a lot of shame.
You think you might have shame, but they have more shame than anyone else. They are shame personified. They’re like one big shame donut. They use control and manipulation to try to keep their kingdom intact and you notice they build a kingdom around them, and they don’t really stray from that too much. They do know exactly what they’re doing, and they are aware in some ways of their toxic behavior. You know that they’re aware because they know how to behave in certain situations. They know how to love-bomb you to get you to do what they want at the beginning. They are aware of that.
What happens when they realize you refuse to be controlled?
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