What Is The Covert Narcissist Most Ashamed Of?

As a result, there is no venturing down that road or even attempting to address that shame. Because for them, it is easier to pretend it doesn’t exist. They avoid people and situations that will force them to confront the shame of who or what they are. Their remedy to dealing with this shame is to bury it as deep as possible. So, they need all that fluff, all those achievements, and all that stuff to cover up that person they are ashamed of, which is themselves. As a result, they needed to create for themselves the type of person that they themselves could love, and that is why their image becomes an obsession. They themselves become obsessed with who they pretend to be.

All in a bid to distract from who they really are and the feelings of worthlessness that consume them. Because that feeling of worthlessness is something that plagues them day in and day out, and it is because of the overwhelming shame they have. They know something is wrong with them, but it is too much for them to accept. So, living in denial and building a life based on lies and deceit is their escape. This is why they pretend to be everything they are not. This is why they mimic or imitate other people’s personalities as their true selves, which they are disgusted by. This is ironic because they would do all this self-help stuff for their ego and fake self all the while neglecting that miserable, broken, dark, true self.

In the narcissist’s mind, all that matters is what people can see, while their inner turmoil and torment are kept hidden. They are deceived by the darkness within that nothing else matters more. So, they keep on deceiving not just the people around them, but themselves also. And this is why the stuff they accumulate does not erase the shame they feel. Their many achievements and relationships do not erase the shame. Money does not erase shame. And the longer they live, the more the shame grows.

A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)

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