What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist?

So, it makes someone who is normal and healthy question themselves like maybe I got it wrong like maybe I’m wrong, maybe Mary lied to me, maybe Mary really wasn’t in the Bahamas. And so, they’re very convinced that they’re right. They’re also convinced that they have a right to treat you the way they want to treat you. So, they lack a sense of introspection. There’s no desire on behalf of the narcissist to know thyself, to know thy true self.

Narcissists live through the false self and they want to believe in this projected false self, the false self that protects them from vulnerabilities, the false self that causes arguments with you. Pretends that there is a triangle going on that really isn’t going on. Have you ever dated a narcissist whether it’s a male or a female and they’ve tried to insinuate that someone else wants them, and now you’re angry at your friend because the narcissist is telling you that your friend is hitting on them and that’s never happened, and now you’re angry at your friend and your friend is like completely bewildered like what’s up I don’t even know what’s going on here, it happens?

when I was young, one of my first boyfriends hit on one of my best friends, you know what I did? I didn’t believe her that taught me a very big lesson because she wasn’t the only one my first boyfriend hit on taught me a very big lesson. So, when you’re dealing with the narcissist it’s also important to recognize that narcissism is not a diagnosis, narcissism is basically a personality trait and if you’re a human being, you have a bunch of personality traits, not all of them are going to be pleasant. There is no one out there that has the perfect personality, it’s just not possible, we all have an ego, we all have natural ego defense mechanisms, we can all be unkind, we can all lack empathy at certain points in time, we can all be short, we can all be self-absorbed and we can be abusive. it’s just a fact we’re human beings.

A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)

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