Today, we are talking about what happens when you discard, leave, or abandon the narcissist. First of all, let me start by saying this will not be in any way what happens if you were to leave a partner whom you were in a normal, loving relationship with. You are dealing with a narcissist, and these people interpret you leaving completely differently than a normal person. So, let me first say that the narcissist does not see this coming. I don’t care if you have told them for years that one day you’ll leave if they don’t change. I don’t care if you have warned them and warned them and warned them. They do not see this coming.
In my experience, it takes a very long time for the narcissist to actually comprehend that this time you are finished and nothing they can do or say is going to change your mind. The reason this happens is because of several things. First of all, they usually have gotten away with treating you terribly for a very, very long time, so they do not take your threat seriously. Their own narcissism is a barrier that prevents them from actually believing that you are leaving. Many times, even after you’ve left or even after you have filed for divorce, in their mind, they believe because they have wrecked your self-esteem so badly that you won’t be able to follow through. Or they might believe they have too much money for you to ever permanently leave them. Or tfhey might think that they can pressure, coerce, harass, and badger you to death, and that will prevent you from actually following through with the permanent elimination of this relationship.
So just because you might physically leave the narcissist does not mean that they have accepted this reality. Usually, the narcissist coming to the conclusion that you are truly done is a bit of a process. This does not happen overnight, especially if you have been with them for a long period of time. Narcissists do not view other people as living, breathing entities with their own minds, perceptions, abilities, and desires outside of the narcissist’s life. Narcissists view other people, even their own spouse and children, as belongings, property, assets that are extensions of themselves.
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