They might try to contact you directly from their phone numbers or emails, but it won’t be direct. They’ll just say something really random, as if they meant to send that message to somebody else but accidentally sent it to you. They want a response from you, and before you know it, you’ll find yourself back in their trap. That’s what happens when they miss you. They come up with strategic plans to get you back, to make you fall, to kneel before their ego somehow. That’s who they are.
How do I know this? Well, I have personally experienced this with my narcissistic mother. When she would miss me, she would act like she was in deep pain, struggling and suffering, knowing which buttons to push to make me feel guilty so that I felt obligated to fix her. I was her fixer; I was her savior. That was my role. I became the parent, and she was the child. Or she would send somebody else my way. Initially, it would be one of her sisters or her parents. Then, when I stopped taking calls from these people, she would send my sister to gaslight me because she knew I had a soft corner for my sibling, and she weaponized that. They don’t actually miss you; they miss inflicting emotional pain. For all these reasons, I say a narcissist’s brain is the brain of a predator.
Narcissists do not behave in ways a human would, especially when feeling vulnerable. They do not experience missing in the way most people do. They miss the benefits they used to get from you, whether positive or negative. They revise their fantasy, triggering a shift in their emotional state, and strategize ways to get you back.
For these reasons, you should never fall for their trap and never go back, no matter how much they say they miss you. Never believe their words. They may cry, and you may feel like it’s real, and in their head, they may make it real because they gaslight themselves into thinking they’re missing you. But in reality, they are missing the fantasy version of you, the idealized version of you. Once they get you back, they will double punish you because of the effort they had to put in to get you back. They have to take out their rage on someone, and you are the main target. They will have to punish you for making them do all this hard work, and they will treat you worse than before.
How to Shutdown a Narcissist Using STRICT Strategy
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