Narcissistic families are dictatorships. You are required to abide by the rules and the demands of the family, period. Individual thoughts or opinions are not permitted or encouraged; submission to the demands of the head narcissist is required, regardless of how wrong, abusive, cruel, or destructive they are.
Nothing is more important than image, according to another rule:
Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more important than image to this family. Narcissistic families don’t really care if their family members have ethics, morals, or values as long as nobody knows. Narcissistic families are superficial and shallow; they do not care about genuine substance as long as you present the right image to everyone in the outside world. That is truly the only thing that matters and that they are concerned about.
Next rule: someone has to be blamed for the problems.
There is always a scapegoat in these families. You’re looking at the scapegoat for my narcissistic family, but someone has to be available to blame for any internal family problems or issues that arise, and if one of the family members is exposed to the outside world for doing something wrong or unethical… then this family will unite and blame someone or something else outside the family unit as the actual responsible party.
Denial is another rule of life in a narcissistic family.
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