Well, if you happen to discard a narcissist before they discard you, it can affect the narcissist for a very long time, probably for the rest of their lives, because you have robbed them of the opportunity to take everything they wanted from you. They lost the opportunity to completely break you, mentally, physically, and spiritually. So, the narcissist basically views you as unfinished business, as a person who got away too soon.
The narcissist has a dilemma because they must now decide how to deal with you. Should they try to get you back, should they just try to destroy you, or should they leave you for a bit and come back after a few months or years when they are ready. But whichever way the narcissist chooses to proceed, one thing is certain, and it is that they will not be able to forget you. Because whether they choose to try and get you back, destroy you or leave you alone for a bit, you have now become an obsession. The narcissist will not be able to rest until they have the upper hand again. For narcissists, it is all about control and you would have taken that control from them when you decided to discard them. As I always say, the narcissist wants to be the one calling the shots. They want to be the ones who control not only the dynamics of the relationship but also how and when that relationship ends.
The narcissist doesn’t care about what you want or how they may hurt you. Actually, the more hurt and broken you are, the better it is for the narcissist. The objective is that they leave the relationship when it benefits them to do so, and the ideal situation is that they would have taken all they could from you and left you at your lowest point.
So, when things do not play out this way, the narcissist is not just going to let you get away with it. That is why no contact, especially in a situation like this, is so important. Establishing zero contact means that you have blocked them everywhere and have cut all ties that could lead back to the narcissist. This is the only way to avoid most of the drama that will follow. Because the narcissist is going to do a few of the things that I discussed in this article. Because that is what has happened when you discard the narcissist first. It means they have lost control over you, control that they were not yet ready to give up. So the narcissist is bound to react. If you are still in the same social circles, or the narcissist still has access to you, everything they do will be to try and get a reaction out of you.
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