Do not spend much time or energy trying to convince anyone of your truth, your experience, or your value. Here’s the thing: People who really know you, people who genuinely love and care about you, should be onto this nonsense pretty quickly. And if they aren’t, if they choose to believe the negative narrative and be the narcissist’s enabling little minions, we have to get to a point where we are okay regardless.
And I’m not saying this is necessarily easy or that it’s going to be pain-free, but this is one of the amazing side effects of actually doing our own personal healing and recovery work. We become bulletproof in the face of this nonsense, able to rise above whatever lies or smear campaigns may be going on. And ultimately, believe it or not, we can become pretty unaffected in the face of the narcissist’s antics. And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay.
Naturally, it hurts to have people we know and love believe things that aren’t true about us. But I promise you, silence can and will be your best friend in this scenario. The smear campaign is all the narcissist has left once you stop talking about them. And it’s all they’ve got to cling to for some false sense of power and control over you and the situation.
And narcissists are desperate for power and control. So, needless to say, no lie is too big or tale too tall for them; they’ll say whatever it takes. So when you go silent, be prepared to be smeared. It’s what they do. You can pretty much count on it. and we have no control over that. So focus on what you can control and go take better care of yourself so you can end up, ultimately, finding yourself in a much better and happier place.
Learn to rest in the knowledge that the people who genuinely love us, care about us, and are worth having in our life and in our circle are at the very least going to give us the benefit of the doubt, if not the benefit of a conversation. They’ll want to hear your side of the story.
And as for those who are easily swayed by the destructive narcissist’s toxic gossip, you don’t want them in your life anyway. Good riddance. Grieve the losses and take care of yourself. The truth is, you deserve better. Much better. Now with that, I’m going to call it a wrap.
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