Initial impressions of a narcissist, especially those of the covert nature, are usually quite good, as they can come off as confident, exciting, or charmingly reserved. It is only much later when their selfish tendencies become more apparent, and the people closest to them are the most affected by their manipulations and betrayals. This is because it is essential to the narcissist that their wants, needs, and feelings always come first. Narcissists care greatly about how others can serve them, what others can give to them, and their reputation or image. The things they care about are very self-serving. For more details on what narcissists genuinely care about, you can read my article.
However, in addition to the things narcissists care about, I want to focus on the introduction to things narcissists do not care about, as these can also significantly affect the people in their lives. Narcissists are very controlling, and while they have a desire to own and control people, they have no interest in the wants and needs of these people. Therefore, one of the first things the narcissist does not care about is maintaining healthy relationships. They need people but do not care how toxic or unhealthy a relationship is, provided that they are the ones in control. They seek to be parents, partners, and friends for the sole purpose of what they can get from these relationships. Narcissists believe that others exist to make them happy, but they have no desire to make anyone else happy. It’s all about them. Once they get what they want from a relationship, that’s all that matters. The narcissist doesn’t care about providing a healthy, loving, and supportive environment for all concerned; all they want is the servitude and attention of those in their lives. Besides, the narcissist does not care about their relationships being stable, happy, and healthy.
The second thing narcissists do not care about is rules or boundaries. They feel that such limitations do not apply to them, including company policies or the laws of the land. If the narcissist can get away with not abiding by any restrictions, they will. In the narcissist’s mind, rules were made to be broken. So, no matter what boundaries you implement with a narcissist, they will not respect or abide by them unless you are strict with your consequences. It’s important to stand firm and be consistent and never accept their excuses for not respecting any boundaries you’ve put in place. When it comes to rules and boundaries, like everything else, the narcissist has double standards. They have rules and boundaries they want others to abide by, but they do not want to accept or respect any boundaries set for them. The narcissist simply does not care about what you want or deserve.
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