We know narcissists can’t be truly happy. But if there were a person who could reasonably satisfy the narcissist, what would it take? What would that look like? Whoever it is, they have to be willing to sacrifice their individuality and live a life of servitude, loneliness, and abuse with no hope of change or happiness. Aside from the physical attributes, I will be focusing more on the personality or traits that a narcissist would want. The type of person the narcissist is looking for is someone who is codependent, empathetic, and loyal. Those are the three most important things that I think any narcissist would love to have in a mate.
Let’s first look at the codependent aspect. This is when someone cannot function on their own and whose thinking and behavior are instead organized around another person, process, or substance. In this case, their lives would revolve around the narcissist. They place a low priority on their own needs while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependents are people-pleasers, so they will try to keep the narcissist happy with whatever demands they make.They will also put the narcissist’s needs ahead of their own.
They essentially cede power to the narcissist.And the narcissist, of course, indulges in the knowledge that this person seeks their validation and thinks that they are nothing without them. Codependents tend to be enablers, which works in the narcissist’s favor, as they want someone who will not challenge their actions or behaviors. But enable them. They want someone they can easily control, manipulate, and abuse. The narcissist wants someone who will just listen and agree with what they say. They also want someone who will entertain their gossip and slander of other people. All this and more is what a codependent will allow, which is what a narcissist wants.
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