The Aging Narcissist: What Happens as They Get Older

today we’re talking about what happens as the narcissist ages and what that means for the significant others or family members who still have to deal with a narcissist. Let’s face it, none of us particularly like aging, but for the majority of us, we at least try to age gracefully. We enjoy seeing our children take center stage with their lives as adults, and we enjoy slowing down and relaxing a little bit. However, for narcissists, this isn’t true. Narcissists have been living in a false reality of their own design and have become accustomed to being the star of the show, the person everyone caters to, the best at everything. In their fictional world, they are constantly looking at the people in their lives to reflect an image back to them that validates this fake and delusional reality. They want to believe they are perfect, special, unique, and superior to other people.

However, as they age, the reflection they get from the people around them isn’t so great and certainly isn’t in alignment with the fake image of themselves that they have created. Now they aren’t admired the way they once were. The people that surround them have grown tired of the pathological lying and the constant gaslighting. This, in turn, drops the potency of the narcissistic supply they are desperate to obtain, which triggers the true self buried deep within that feels incredibly inferior and shameful. Those feelings are unbearable to the narcissist, and because of these things, the behaviors of the narcissist become much, much worse. Today, I’m going to try and explain what that looks like.

One of the first things that you will see is they become much more manipulative. Now, many of you might think that’s not possible because the narcissist in your life is currently insanely manipulative and that it couldn’t get any worse. But I am here to tell you it absolutely can become worse. First of all, they have years and years of experience manipulating people, so they are old pros at the manipulation game. When they get older, they will also have more time on their hands, and narcissists, in general, bore very quickly. They are constantly trying to fight off boredom, and because they have much more time on their hands in their older years, they utilize that time doing things to cause chaos in the lives of their loved ones. So you can expect higher levels of triangulation attempts, lots and lots of projection, deflection, gaslighting, and stonewalling. Anything to make life more difficult and stressful for those around them is going to increase in frequency and intensity.

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