Are you ready to fight back against that narcissist by manipulating them in a way that they always manipulate you?
If you are so ready to learn how to ethically manipulate the manipulator, then check out this article because I’ve got the advice for you.
So let’s talk about that narcissist. The narcissist is a master manipulator. They have spent their entire lives learning how to manipulate. They are masters at reading people. They are excellent at it. And they have spent their entire lives at it. There was that book, Outliers. I don’t know if any of you have ever read that book by Malcolm Gladwell. And he talks about how you need 10,000 hours to become super skilled at something and achieve mastery level.
Well, narcissists have way over 10,000 hours at learning how to manipulate people. They’ve spent their entire lives learning how to manipulate people. And so everything they do is manipulation. Pretty much everything they do is to manipulate you. It’s to control you. It’s to make you feel devalued. It’s to make themselves feel superior to you. And so they are really, superb at doing that.
How do you manipulate them back and why would you want to do that?
1 you’re in a negotiation with a narcissist
You are in the fight of your life. There’s no doubt in my mind. They have one goal, and that is to take you down. It’s to make your life miserable. It’s to control you. It’s to make you squirm. That’s what they want in the negotiation. And so you are not playing on a level playing field. You, a reasonable person, are going, “Well, I just want what’s fair. And maybe we can both come to a reasonable conclusion.
Maybe there’s some way we can sort of meet in the middle or whatever.” You cannot do that when you are dealing with a narcissist. Because a narcissist doesn’t want to come to a reasonable conclusion. They want to make you miserable. They get narcissistic supply from that. And remember that narcissistic supply is anything that feeds a narcissist’s ego. It’s what they need to build themselves up. So they’re constantly looking for it. They’re like sharks smelling blood in the water and, “There is more supply and there I can get more supply, and there I can get more supply.
They’re like hoarding it and desperate for it. They are predators, and they need an endless amount of narcissistic supply. It’s like a black hole that can never be filled. And they get narcissistic supply in a negotiation by making you squirm, by making you miserable. So the only way that you’re going to fight back against that is by ethically basically manipulating the manipulator. And if you are so ready to fight back against that narcissist, give me a fight back right now in the comments. So how do you do that?
One way that you can do that is by being prepared and expecting how they are going to behave and then not be surprised when they behave like a narcissist. So that when they go off on you, when they call you many names and say that you’re a deadbeat, or say that you’re a loser, or whatever verbiage they use that basically says that, you’re going to say, “Oh, I expected you to say that. There you go, being your narky self.” Smile and move on. And then if you need to respond to them, you respond very, tactically.
2 Responding tactically.
If they send you a long, huge text or a long, huge email filled with vitriol, filled with poison, filled with many things meant to trigger you, you are going to respond tactically. You are going to look through this email as if you are reading the newspaper, or reading a fact sheet, or a datasheet. And you’re going to go, “I don’t need to respond to that. I don’t need to respond to that. I don’t need to respond to that. Oh, that I need to respond to.” So you just pick the one or two things in there that you say, “Okay, I need to respond to that.
Like what time are we doing something, or when will this take place or something like that, some factual thing? And then you respond only to that. And then the rest of it you either ignore or maybe you say something very tactical, like, “I ‘have received your email. I deny your allegations. And here’s my response to the one thing that I need to respond to. So tactical responses are very helpful.
3 Provide value for value by saying something to the narcissist
Like, “Can you handle this financial thing? You’re so much better at numbers than I am.” Something like that. It’s called narcissistic fluffing.
Your sort of fluffing up their ego so that they now feel you’re respecting them you is giving them adulation. They need an endless amount of adulation. So you can just give them a little something so that you can get a little something. These are ways that you ethically are manipulating the manipulator.
Do it in order for you to get anywhere and get something that you want out of this situation. You understand that they need to feel like they’re getting something out of this. They will do nothing unless they feel like they’re getting something out of it.
And the last thing that you can do when you’re going to negotiate with them is, when you present your offer, you just make sure that you’re asking for a hell of a lot more than what you’re actually wanting. And never let on what the one thing is that you really want, or the few things that you really, really want.
Act like you really, really want something else. Because that way, if you end up giving up on it, then the narcissist thinks they got to you. So remember that when you’re doing this little game with a narcissist which unfortunately you have to play this game because that’s who they are, you’re never going to win by having them know you won in a certain way. Because they’ll just keep pushing, pushing, pushing.
They’ll keep fighting because as long as they feel that there’s some amount of supply to be had from you, then they will continue to come back to get it, even if it’s just scraping the bottom of the peanut butter jar. That’s how much narcissistic supply there is left to get from you.
They’re coming back for it. Because they are predators. They want to come, as much as there’s still some kind of food, some kind of something that they can get out of this situation. The only way that you will end up getting them to stop is by letting them know that there’s no more supply to be had from you. So when you come to negotiate with them, be fully prepared. Keep your emotions out of it. Your mindset has to be super strong.
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