So point number one. If you want to make the narcissist miss you and that you’ve been sucked into this relationship repeatedly. So you see the signs, you know the discard is coming and this could be a romantic relationship, but it can also be a relationship with a family member of pretends.
One that comes in and pretends to be your best friend. You fall for it all over again and they stab you in the back once again. It could be any relationship with a narcissist. The first thing you’re going to do When that discard comes and they go off on you about how they don’t want to be with you, how it’s over, and that you’re getting discarded right now, you’re going to do what you’ve never done before, and you’re going to do what the Narcissist doesn’t expect you to do.
You’re going to exercise emotional discipline. You’re going to allow the narcissist to have the last word; you will not defend yourself. You will not defend the relationship. You will not say anything at all but agree with the narcissist.
They can say every time I let you back in my life, all you do is ruin everything. Now in your head, you’re thinking, well, all I’m doing is trying to make this work and you are the one that’s ruining the relationship. You will not say that you’re just going to listen when the narcissist is done. Spilling out their feelings about how awful you are.
You’re going to say, I understand. I completely agree it’s over. I’m glad we had this conversation. That’s it.
A very wonderful book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself (English Edition)
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