The second type of offense that can put you in hot water with the covert narcissist is a direct critique. Whether you are critiquing their appearance, abilities, or actions, it does not matter; narcissists hate criticism. Narcissists view critiques as personal attacks, so they are likely to become defensive, even aggressive. Any form of disapproval is too much for their fragile ego. Ego is usually defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Narcissists do have a sense of self-importance, but because it is centered around the fake image they have created that has no true foundation, it is very fragile. So, no matter how confident or puffed up a narcissist may be because it is based on their fake image or made-up persona, it does not take much to shake them up.
The third offense that can really anger the covert narcissist is when you ignore them or take your attention away from them. Because it is important to the narcissist that you prioritize them. They need to know that you care about them and that you are available to them. This would be totally fine if narcissists were fair, but they are not. They want all your time and attention, but when you need them, they are too busy or always have an excuse. And when you are suddenly not available for them, it makes them angry. Narcissists have double standards; their needs and wants will always come first, and they do not care to reciprocate. They will ignore you when they feel like it, but you better not dare do it to them. The narcissist will never forgive you for making them feel irrelevant.
The fourth thing that narcissists find really offensive is strong boundaries. Narcissists want free rein over your life and time. Boundaries are restrictive. Boundaries mean you are in control. The narcissist wants to be the one in control, so this will frustrate and anger them immensely. They will be offended by your wanting to protect your space and time. How dare you be so intent on taking charge? When you have strong boundaries, it means the narcissist will probably have to be told no one too many times, and narcissists hate being rejected. They hate not having their wants or requests granted, which happens a lot with someone who has strong boundaries. It reminds the narcissist that they are not in control and that they cannot charm or manipulate everyone into doing what they want.
When A Narcissist Turns People Against You, This Is What You Should Do That You Never Think About
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