In this article, we’ll be discussing the best course of action when a narcissistic individual in your life starts turning others against you. As someone embedded in this narcissistic world, you might be familiar with the term “flying monkeys.” Essentially, these are people whom the aforementioned individual reaches out to—your parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, or anyone in your network—and shares terrible things about you. Their aim is to break down your support system and convince these individuals to side with the narcissist.
The Flying Monkey Dynamic is a commonly witnessed phenomenon, especially amidst a divorce, where the separating parties share extended family networks. The narcissistic spouse seizes on this opportunity to approach their soon-to-be ex-partner’s acquaintances and manipulate the narrative by spreading malicious rumors. Their aim is to sway these individuals to become their allies and chip away at their partner’s support system, thus accentuating their power imbalance.
As a result, the partner, who is already subjected to continuous gaslighting in the narcissistic relationship, doubts their self-worth even more due to their trusted network aligning with the narcissist. But how do they pull this off, you might ask? Simply put, narcissists exude charm and charisma, radiating a semblance of generosity and knowledge of social dynamics that enables them to schmooze with ease. Believe me, they possess an exceptional ability to manipulate and sway people around you to buy into their fabricated stories.
They exploit their charm to display a rational and emotional appeal, persuading others to extend their support for them. They will go to any lengths to taint the image of your family, friends, or coworkers, weaving elaborate stories embellished with outright fabrications to better serve their purpose. Their aim is straightforward: they hunger for power, and the only way to achieve this end is with everyone’s support.
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