sob story:
If I can present the structure of fragility while cycling through elation and depletion of narcissistic supply, that will confuse the target so they don’t know which version of me they’re actually going to get. Then, I can give them my sob story, which is the missile delivery system that delivers the payload. The actual main weapon that’s going to drive you completely crazy is that you feel sorry for them. You feel sorry for them, and you won’t leave them; you won’t kick them out; and you won’t draw a hard boundary with them because of their sob story and because it makes you feel guilty. These vulnerable narcissists, these covert artists, do the most damage, in my humble opinion, just because of the amount of confusion they generate in the host. The amount of confusion they generate in the target is so high; it’s so intense, and you never know from one day to the next which version of them you’re dealing with. You’ll never really know what the truth about them is.
Closure:
I don’t believe that any real closure is possible with a fragile narcissist. Part of you will always wonder if they were really that sad, lonely, desperate victim that they presented themselves as. You remember the cat and its shriek; the cat loses its eyes, and it’s so sad to evoke an emotional response in people. And then when they go, “Oh, look at the cute kitty,” that’s when he gets his rapier sword out and kills them. So, this is how it works. And over time, this is going to be crazy-making because what are you going to do? Well, if you’re an essentially good person and you believe that they’re a victim and you love them, it’s also necessary that you love them, or you need something from them, or you’re leaning in. All of these narcissistically abusive relationships are pairs, which means there are two people involved. There are two, so they’re leaning into you, and you’re leaning into them. We know that this is true because I’ll say to people, “You need to avoid contact.”
No Contact:
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go no contact. I’ll go without contact. Yeah, yeah, I’m going to go no contact,” and you go, “Great.” And then they’ll message me a week later or a month later, and they’ll go, “You’ll never guess what you said to me now,” and I’m like, “How do you know what I said too?” ” I did, after all, speak to him. Your no contact—oh, you know; no, well, I couldn’t, you know. My six-year-old cousin, after all, followed me on Instagram. No, wait, no, no, it’s a bit, “no, no, it’s that, see, yeah, I did block him,” and I’m like, “Dude, get the [__] out of here.” Come on now!” “No contact means no contact.” So, it’s a diet. You’re leaning into them. There’s no way; I’m not trying to shame you about it, but if we all want to move on with our lives,
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