Many covert narcissists say a lot of the same catchphrases. The phrases are usually small and simple, but with many meanings. Some covert narcissists’ favorite catchphrases include: • “Don’t get upset over nothing.” • “Don’t be so sensitive.” • “I was just joking, calm down.” • “You misunderstood me.” • “I didn’t hurt you; you hurt yourself.” These phrases, along with others, are just some of the common ones used by covert narcissists to initiate gaslighting. These narcissists want the other person to believe they caused these emotions, not the narcissist. The victim will often hear these catchphrases and start to believe that they may have done it to themselves. The covert narcissist will say all of this in a calm, non-angry tone, which will make the person believe they are overreacting if they are angry and loud. The coverts use these phrases commonly to upset people more than anything. They want to upset them; their goal is to make the other person feel bad about themselves. The phrases are intended to send mixed messages and make the person think the worst of what the words mean. The covert narcissist wants you to think the worst of yourself and question everything you do. If you notice, some of the phrases focus on the person harming themselves. The covert narcissist will want to deflect the problem from them and make people believe the victim is doing it all to themselves, and the narcissist is trying to help them. In reality, the narcissist is breaking them down more and more every day.
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