7 Dirty Secrets a Narcissist will Never tell You

You’re strong, resilient, and capable, but I’ll tell you the opposite because your strength makes me feel insecure and weak. Deep within, you are the sun that shines so brightly that I go blind. I can’t stand your light. I can’t stand how people are naturally attracted to your personality, feel comfortable around you, and your genuine empathy. I wish I could have all of that, not to become a better person but to get all of that supply. Deep down, I am jealous of you. I am jealous of the fact that my abuse is not unraveling you. Why aren’t you destroyed after all? I mean, why can’t I? I am all capable, omnipotent, I can do everything, but I’m not able to erase you. Yes, you are impacted by my abuse, but you are not totally destroyed, you’re devastated, though. Why can’t I? That is what I hate the most. That makes me feel like I’m a failure. I know you have the capability to rise from your ashes like a phoenix, but I want you to believe that you’re nothing but these ashes, and you will stay the same forever. I want you to stay stuck in the dark dungeons of my abuse, and I want you to live in that total darkness because if you fly, then definitely, you will prove I’m a failure, that I never had any power over you.

Secret Number 3: I secretly hate you, but I want you to think I love you more than you love me.

I only use you for supply. Deep down, I know I am your biggest enemy. I wish and pray for your downfall because in that lies my success. I feel powerful only when I see you falling apart. I need you to feel defeated, fatigued, totally exhausted. I need you to develop various mental health issues because that will confirm I am better than you. I will always ridicule whatever you do, devalue your achievements, and make it seem like, “Oh, anybody could do that.” At the same time, I’ll throw breadcrumbs and say, “Oh, that was a joke,” or “I didn’t mean that,” because I don’t want to lose you. Deep down, whenever I ridicule you, I mean it. I know it.