5 Weird Things Narcissists Actually Believe

Narcissists genuinely believe that they have been mistreated by every single ex they were in a relationship with. How so? To them, mistreatment is not giving them full authority and control, not turning into a doormat, taking a stand against them, saying no, not being compliant enough, not just taking orders from them like they own you. That is what mistreatment to a narcissist is. Mistreatment is also exposing them, demanding better treatment. That is how they see mistreatment. Naturally, they are going to believe that you mistreated them. They are the victim in every story. A narcissist can only play one of three roles: the savior who saved the relationship, the hero who gets all the attention and saved the day, or the victim. Beyond that, they can’t do anything at all. Why? Because if they were to take responsibility and say, “I messed it up,” that would mean they’d have to accept there’s something wrong with them. They can’t do that. They have to absolve themselves of all responsibility and force it on you, project everything on you. The only way to do that is by taking the role of a victim, someone who was wronged. That’s why when they share those stories with you, they sound and seem so genuine, but they are delusional.

3. They Genuinely Believe You Betrayed Them by Changing

This is the core origin of why trauma bonding occurs. Narcissists genuinely believe that you betrayed them by changing. When they love-bomb you, they idealize your perfect self. They think you are the solution. But when the devaluation begins, they hurt you, abuse you, abandon you because who you are does not match what they thought you were. That shift makes them think you have betrayed them, wronged them, fooled them, and lied to them, when in truth, you have just been yourself. It’s their perceptive flaw that they didn’t see you as a human being; they saw you as a solution, a trophy that would keep making them feel that high forever. The irony is that it should be you feeling betrayed, but no, they steal that from you as well. They turn themselves into a big victim and say that you betrayed them by not being who you were in the beginning or who they made you out to be. The truth is it’s them who changed. It’s them who shape-shifted into an entirely different person once they got full control over you. That is an extreme form of projection and the worst case of delusion. This kind of delusional thinking of your narcissistic partner leads to abusive, non-abusive treatment cycles of hot and cold behavior, and that is what gets you trauma bonded to them.