When you experience complex trauma (and narcissistic abuse is such trauma) you block your emotions to detach from the painful reality of your experience.
In a moment, it is a useful strategy. Sometimes it literally saves your life. But blocking your emotions means disconnecting from yourself. In the long run, it is a very unhealthy thing to do.
In order to heal, you need to reconnect with your emotions. Let them be as they come to you. You can manage them by breathing deeply. Your breath will help you stay calm even when emotions like anger or anxiety will flood you.
Remember that your emotions cannot hurt you. They are NOT you. It is blocking them that, at some point in your life, might turn out to be damaging. Emotions that get stuck in our bodies very often come to the surface in the form of an illness.
When you allow yourself to feel, that is a true sign that you are embracing your healing journey.
4. You feel lighter
Although all the processes that I’m mentioning here are not easy, once you go no contact or minimise the contact with the narcissist in your life, you will immediately feel lighter inside.
Making a decision that your contact will be a bare minimum (or that there will be no contact) brings immediate relief. If you didn’t realise how much negative energy this individual brings into your life, you will certainly realise it now.
You breathe more freely, you slowly stop being in a constant state of stress. Your sleep improves. Your body might even lose a few extra kilos so you might end up feeling lighter, even literally.
5. Your self-care becomes your priority
Another clear sign of healing is when you notice that you start to choose yourself more and more often. You focus your thoughts and energy on thinking about yourself and what is good for you instead of wondering what the narcissist thinks or does.
Your self-care becomes your priority whether it means picking up a hobby you neglected or finding time for meditation or perhaps going to the gym more often.
You feel free to make a choice that suits you best and you do just that.
6. Unexplained physical symptoms disappear
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