Narcissists are incapable of experiencing true happiness, and if they could stop everyone else from experiencing it, they would. For the narcissist, it is simple; if they can’t be happy, why should you?
The third reason the narcissist despises you but refuses to abandon you is that they need to control you, which they cannot do if you are not a part of their life. Control is the most important thing to narcissists because, once they are in control, they can ensure they get their narcissistic supply and everything else they need to entertain themselves. So, the narcissist wants you near them so that they can keep manipulating and controlling you. For a narcissist, it would be ideal if they could control everyone around them and have them in total submission.
Control is everything to the narcissist, but they need someone to control, and that is why, as much as they hate you, they still need you. Narcissists are smart enough to know that they have to bait and trap people. So, they lure you in with their fake smiles and fake persona, entice you with their seductive and flattering words, and before you know it, they’ve got you right where they want you. A narcissist’s hunger for control will always keep them on the prowl looking for more victims that they can manipulate, abuse, and control. But to conclude, we see that the narcissist has a dilemma where, although your very existence bothers them, they still need you around.
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