Next on the list of what makes a narcissist panic and lose control is your personal power. That’s right. If you want to make a destructive narcissist panic, show up with genuine self-esteem, genuine self-worth, and authentic personal power. This equates to the strength of character and authenticity, which will make it virtually impossible for a narcissist to manipulate, dupe, deceive, or control you. And narcissists don’t like that. It will trigger every fear and insecurity that they carry. The thing is, when you have genuine self-esteem and are grounded in a solid sense of self-worth when you’re fully empowered, the narcissist quickly realizes that they can’t control your perception of yourself, nor can they control your perception of others, and they certainly can’t control your perception of them. So few things are going to be more destabilizing for a destructive narcissist than someone who actually embodies authentic personal power, a sense of self-worth, and self-esteem. And it boils down to the fact that there’s no fear of loss on your part when you’re operating from this place of personal power and rock-solid self-worth. Real authentic self-esteem. You’re not afraid of being abandoned by the narcissist. Why? Well, because you don’t abandon yourself. And this, in itself, will trigger all of the narcissist’s own abandonment issues and cause them to panic and lose control.
Another way to make a narcissist panic is to stay cool. That’s right. Stay cool, calm, and collected no matter what. For example, practice your ability to not engage or, if you engage at all, do so by using super short, clear one or two-word replies like “I see” or “fine” and then silence. Not another word. In other words, practice your ability to deliver a message in one or two words max, a message that fundamentally says, “I heard you and I’m not playing. There’s nothing more to say.” And with practice, you’ll become more and more comfortable with the uncomfortable silence that follows. In fact, your ability to remain completely unfazed by their attempts to provoke, intimidate, threaten, or terrorize you, even, will be the very thing that causes them to panic and lose control and ultimately fully expose themselves for who and what they are, which will give you the upper hand.
Now, another way to make a narcissist panic is establishing and, more importantly, maintaining absolute no contact. This is especially important when a narcissist is attempting to hoover you back into the toxic abuse cycle.
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