What Happens When You Reject a Narcissist?

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What we’re trying to figure out is not only who are who other people are, like who are these people that we’re dating? who are these people that we call family, that we call friends, that we invite to our homes, that we invite into our beds, that invite into our kitchens, who are these people? But we also want to recognize traits in ourselves that need scrutiny, because what we need to be doing is evolving, growing, and becoming the best versions of ourselves.

So, we recognize that we are ongoing in our recovery process and that becoming the best version of ourselves is gaining wisdom over time, becoming less reactive, less ego-bound, less ego defensive, less reactive. As we age hopefully, that is what’s happening, sometimes that doesn’t happen, it’s not unlikely for someone who is married to someone who is chastising them, who is cruel, who is vile, who is passive-aggressive, who is condescending and minimizing aloof and couldn’t care less about the person he or she is living with not really. It’s not unheard of for the victim of narcissistic abuse to eventually bite back as a way to survive. Not unlike a puppy that you bring home that unfortunately ends up being abused by other dogs, and one day that puppy begins to bite back is that a bad dog, absolutely not it, is a dog that has been forced to defend itself.

What we’re looking to do as human beings is to recognize traits in ourselves so that we can overcome them, and if you are a healthy person, you are willing to be introspective; you are willing to say what about my personality needs to shift needs to change, and what’s preventing that change. If you are dealing with a narcissist, you will not hear that language you, or if you do, it will be only to love to bomb you, and to gain empathy, sympathy, to avoid responsibility. The key is objectivity; the key is perspective, and in order for you to have perspective; you need space. So, that means you must be able to detach, you must be able to observe and you must be able to begin recognizing patterns of behavior in other people and in yourself, and if you can do this, you can heal from this type of narcissistic abuse.

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