Do you want to know what narcissists are doing when you have no contact with them? What are they plotting and planning? We’re going to talk about that in today’s article, so don’t turn away!
I’ve seen it all; I’ve been litigating with lots and lots of narcissists for many years. That’s why I am a highly recognized conflict resolution attorney. I’ve written a book called “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win,” a bestseller that you can grab. I highly recommend that you do. And if you haven’t subscribed to this channel, I highly recommend that you do that now too. We’re diving into the topic today: what narcissists do when you’re not looking.
So, what are they doing? The first thing they’ll be doing is stalking you. I mean, maybe not openly—some of them might be doing it openly (hopefully not). If they are, definitely call the police or do whatever you need to protect yourself. They’ll be looking at your social media, trying to figure out what you’re up to. They might send out their little minions to check out what you’re doing. That’s why you want to try to block them on social media if you can. Change all your passwords. Make sure you change passwords on your social media and all your logins, maybe even monthly for a while. If you need to go without contact, do it as soon as you can. For sure, they’re going to be checking out what you’re doing if they can. They’re not going to take it lying down, even if they are walking away from you. That’s the crazy thing, because they still want to get their form of supply from you if they can. They want to keep their new form of supply, but they also want to keep the old form of supply from you if they can. They like it all.
What else are they going to be doing while they’re gone and you’ve left? Okay, and you’ve said, “Okay, this is fine.” They’re going to be telling everybody that they left you, that it was fine, that this is what they wanted anyway, and that it’s a good thing. You know, because they want to preserve some level of whatever. So now they want to make sure that you get smeared before you can smear them. They want to expose you before you can expose them. They want to take you down before you can take them down. So, this is where the birth of that smear campaign comes in. They’ve got to rewrite history and get everybody on board. So brace yourself for this one, even if they say, “Oh, I want this to be nice. I want this to be as good as possible. Let’s part as friends.” You can’t believe this. If they were lying when they were with you, whether it was as business partners or as a boss or a colleague, they’re not going to be suddenly wonderful at the end. It doesn’t make any sense. You can’t believe that they’re going to tarnish your reputation, spread lies about you, and re-recruit those flying monkeys—the people they want to be on their side in their army—because they’re all insecure. They don’t want to feel like they’re by themselves. They want you to feel abandoned and alone, isolated, ganged up on, bullied, and wrong; they’re right and higher, and you’re lower. It’s crucial for them to stay strong, and you’re the weak one. They want to be the ones doing all the manipulating and using their tactics on you. So, they will line up their smear campaign. Is it going to be open like this? Maybe, maybe not. It might be in terms of care. That’s how a covert narcissist tends to be—more in terms of care. So, it might look more like, “Oh, I’m so concerned about Susie. I’m so worried about her. She’s been so depressed. I don’t know how she’s going to make it. I want to help her; be supportive.” So, it comes through like that, even though the person’s really smearing Susie in terms of care. You’ve got to be careful about those ones—those covert ones—even though they’re smearing the person. Sometimes it’s more like that. Sometimes the smearing is in terms of guilt. “I can’t believe they left me here all alone with no money. You left with plenty in the bank account. You never really left in the first place.” But they make it seem like you left with nothing. There’s that kind of smearing too—guilty kind of smearing, playing the victim card, making it seem like, “You abandoned them, the kids. They’re the suffering ones. You’re the heartless one. You ran off.” Designed to guilt-trip the whole world. There’s that as well. Anybody who’ll listen, you’re heartless, abandoned, cruel, the victim. So, there’s the smearing and rewriting of history.
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