2. You reconsider your interpretations of what others say and do
Being angry is predicated on knowing what the other person intended to do or say. Most of the time, we have no idea what the real reason was. We just assume we know, and then we get upset.
What if instead, we paused and took time to wonder? Is there some truth in their criticism? Do they just want to help me? Can I let this comment stand without fighting it? Do I really know what they mean? How can I make sure?
Don’t be so quick to judge. Be generous with your interpretations. And — always — ask more questions.
3. You realize you’re wrong a lot and — at times — annoying
Hundreds of biases affect our thinking every waking second of the day. No one is right 100% of the time. No one is kind 100% of the time.
Sometimes, you and I and everyone you know is wrong, stubborn, and a pain in the ass to be around. That’s okay, but be aware of it. Be generous in letting people know. “I’m not fun when I’m hungry.” “I’m not sure I’m right.” “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” These are signs of strength, not weakness.
4. Realizing we all “fake it till we make it” gives you true confidence
In one of his speeches, Alan Watts compares living our everyday lives to acting in a play: “The hero role and the villain role are only masks.”
We’re all trying our best to live up to our many characters. We all suffer from impostor syndrome. We hope we look right to the world, and people won’t know we’re afraid, clueless, and lost. It’s okay. Everyone is.
Emotional maturity is taking true comfort in this fact and letting it fuel real confidence to not care what others think.
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