Your identity is made up of your qualities, beliefs, personal traits, appearance, expressions, and whatever else sets you apart. But with low self-esteem, things can start changing. You can become more unsure and insecure, and because you are not looking after yourself the way you should, your appearance can change. Your personality, interests, and physical appearance can alter drastically to the point where you do not recognize yourself anymore. The Narcissist wants you to become a shadow of yourself. And taking away your identity means taking away your individuality, which will make you less interesting or attractive to others, and that is what the Narcissist wants.
The third thing the Narcissist wants you to lose is your independence. Independence: They want you to be dependent on them so that they can have absolute control over you. Whether it is financially or emotionally, the Narcissist wants to be the one to take away your freedoms. They want you to be isolated and dependent because if you need them, you will not be able to discard them. No supportive family, no friends Just you with the Narcissist to control your every step.
The fourth thing the Narcissist wants you to lose is your connection with reality. As a result of the Narcissist’s gaslighting, they want you to struggle with what is true and what is not. The Narcissist would want you to believe that everyone hates you or thinks badly of you. They would want you to believe that they, the Narcissist, are the only ones who love and understand you. They would want you to turn your back on those who really care about you and surround yourself with people who want to destroy you. The Narcissist wants control of your mind so that you only see and believe what they want you to.
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